When Your Child Won’t Eat: Feeding Challenges & ARFID

Mealtimes can be one of the most stressful parts of the day when your child has a limited diet. If your little one only eats a handful of foods, refuses entire food groups, or becomes distressed at the sight of new foods on their plate, you’re not alone, and there are effective strategies that can help.

Understanding Feeding Challenges

Many children with autism develop strong preferences around food. They might eat only certain textures, colours, or brands. They may refuse foods that touch each other on the plate, or only accept meals prepared in a specific way. For some families, the list of accepted foods can be counted on one hand.

These patterns often develop for understandable reasons. Children may have had an uncomfortable experience with a food, or they may find comfort in the predictability of familiar meals. Whatever the cause, the good news is that feeding behaviours can be shaped and expanded with the right approach.

What is ARFID?

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is more than just picky eating. Children with ARFID may eat such a limited range of foods that it affects their nutrition, growth, or daily functioning. Unlike typical fussy eating, ARFID doesn’t tend to resolve on its own and often benefits from professional support.

Signs that your child’s eating may have moved beyond typical selectivity include significant weight concerns, nutritional deficiencies, reliance on supplements to meet dietary needs, or high levels of distress around food and mealtimes.

If you’re concerned your child may have ARFID, speaking with your paediatrician or a feeding specialist is a helpful first step.

How Behavioural Approaches Can Help

Behavioural strategies offer one of the most effective, evidence-based pathways to expanding a child’s diet. Rather than focusing on why a child won’t eat, these approaches focus on building new skills and positive associations with food—step by step.

The foundation is understanding that eating, like any behaviour, can be shaped through consistent practice and reinforcement. Small, achievable goals create momentum, and celebrating progress builds your child’s confidence around food.

Practical Strategies for Home

Start with tiny steps. If your child refuses vegetables entirely, the goal isn’t to have them eat a full serving of broccoli tomorrow. Instead, you might start with simply tolerating a small piece of vegetable on their plate, then touching it, then bringing it to their lips. Each step is progress worth celebrating.

Use preferred foods as motivation. Pairing a tiny taste of a new food with access to a favourite food can help build positive associations. For example, a small lick of banana followed by a bite of their preferred cracker. Over time, you can gradually adjust these pairings as acceptance grows.

Keep mealtimes calm and consistent. Predictable routines around meals help children feel secure. Consider consistent seating, timing, and plating. When children know what to expect, they’re often more open to small challenges within that structure.

Celebrate every win. Touched a new food? That’s progress. Allowed it on their plate without distress? Wonderful. Brought it to their mouth? Fantastic. Reinforcing these small steps with praise, encouragement, or a preferred activity builds momentum toward bigger goals.

Avoid pressure and negotiation. Phrases like “just try one bite” or lengthy discussions about why they should eat something can increase anxiety and resistance. A calm, neutral presentation of food—paired with positive reinforcement for any engagement—tends to be more effective.

Building a Positive Mealtime Environment

The atmosphere around mealtimes matters. When meals become battlegrounds, everyone’s stress increase, and stressed children are less likely to try new things.

Consider eating together as a family when possible, modelling enjoyment of a variety of foods. Keep conversation light and avoid making your child’s eating the focus of attention. Some families find that removing the expectation to eat entirely—simply presenting food without comment—reduces pressure and gradually increases willingness to explore.

When to Seek Professional Support

If your child’s diet is very limited, they’re losing weight, or mealtimes have become a significant source of distress for your family, professional support as part of ABA early intervention programs can make a meaningful difference.

Behavioural feeding programs use systematic, evidence-based approaches to expand food acceptance. These programs break down the eating process into manageable steps, use reinforcement strategically, and help children build new skills at a pace that works for them.

A behaviour analyst experienced in feeding can assess your child’s current patterns, identify what’s maintaining the selective eating, and develop an individualised plan. Many families see meaningful progress when they have professional guidance alongside their efforts at home.

Your Starting Point

This week, try choosing one new food to introduce. Perhaps something with a similar colour or texture to a food your child already accepts. Place a tiny portion on their plate at mealtimes without comment or expectation. If they interact with it in any way, offer warm praise and access to something they enjoy.

Keep notes on what you observe: Does your child tolerate the food’s presence? Do they touch it? What reinforcement seems most motivating for them?

These observations will help you understand your child’s patterns and build a foundation for progress—whether you continue independently or decide to seek professional support.

Remember, expanding a child’s diet is a gradual process. With patience, consistency, and the right strategies, mealtimes can become more peaceful and your child’s food world can grow.